Dark Night of the Soul
Dark Night of the Soul - April, 2003
• The Spirit and the Soul
• The Spirit and the Soul
In the past 18 years, I have asked and been asked the same question: “What is the difference between Spirit and the Soul?” My own answer is: The spirit - my essence - is on a journey to connect to the Soul or to God. I thought I would share with you what many people have experienced as the ‘Dark Night of the Soul’, and most of all, how to change these dynamics when they occur.
Examine if you will, the heart center, or chakra as the Spirit of the soul. Look then at the space behind the heart center as the soul or the gate to Higher Self or Creator. If we had unconditional love for ourselves and for everyone, those two centers would then unite and merge into one Soul presence. You would never again forget that you are complete- One with all Creation, and be always fully conscious of that fact within your very Being.
There are many interpretations of the term ‘Soul Mate’ - very few with which I can agree. For my definition of ‘Soul Mate’, here is an exercise:
Draw two large equal circles - side by side on a piece of paper. Within one of those circles, draw three smaller circles. Do the same within the second circle. You might want to color each of those smaller circles a light color, such as yellow, blue, pink, mint green etc. Then, color the remaining area of each of the large circles a darker color.
Imagine that each of the three lighter-colored circles within the large circle on the right represent all those experiences for which you have unconditional love- all that you have created for yourself. The inner circles are what you have come to love within yourself and others. The darker part of that large circle represents those areas of you that still require examination, experience and learning. We can also call this space the eternal Void. This may also be called the last spiritual veil.
* Soul Mates and Twin Flames
Now, do the same for the second circle - color it the same as your first circle. Imagine now that the circle on the left is another person. We will call that other person a ‘soul-mate’. Since the circle or the person on the left is a mirror of you on the right, your ‘soul-mate’ reflects back to you everything that you have ever loved and more.
The right circle is your heart center projecting inward; the left circle is your soul-mate’s heart center which is you, projected outward - a reflection of your inward projection. You feel the same energetics inward with yourself as you feel from outside of yourself - with your soul-mate. The reason you feel that so clearly, is because your ‘soul-mate’ is an energetic reflection of everything you have ever loved and all those connections you made with Source, physically manifested.
Have you ever wondered why 90% (or higher) of your ‘soul mates’ could not stay in relationship with you? As you look at the heart/soul centers, it becomes quite obvious. Since each larger circle represents your own heart and soul center, (the gateway to Spiritual Consciousness), together you could each move through the dark area of your own self in a faster way. The problem is most people can’t let go of all the things they do not love. That often causes one of the soul-mates to become fearful and scared. Consequently, one runs away from the intensity of the reflection of what each of you needs to experience, not just individually, but collectively. It would be easier if each one of the ‘soul-mates’ focused on what each person individually loved, and consciously slowed down, thereby avoiding the feeling of wanting to go faster, which creates chaos. If they also became more physical with themselves and with each other, that would allow for a more constant exploration of new areas - like stair-stepping together. I call this spiritual stair-stepping. You take one step; you help me up that step. I take one step; I help you up that next step. Together, you gradually continue to open new areas for each other to explore - ones that were not comfortable in past relationships and in our relationship to our own creative self.
One of the greatest fears we often have is that we will get lost going outside of our ‘zone of comfort’. With a soul mate, you have a greater sense of security that there will be someone there for you - to catch you if you slip while reaching for your soul; and also to rely on someone who can help you with present time. Some people will also call these personal relationships ‘twin-flames’. These words have become the romantic dream of many individuals looking for true love. A ‘soul mate’, or ‘twin flame’, when we make that connection, causes our inner circles to grow greater in size, filling more of the dark spaces in our own large circle, shrinking that space of void and allowing for greater opportunities to create from within our inner circles and our own heart/soul center.
When your soul mate, or your reflection of what you find comfortable within yourself leaves, the sadness of not being able to feel that energy or reflection any longer, causes your inner self to retract, get smaller; thereby creating a greater dark space within your own heart/soul center.
Remember, a soul -mate can be any individuals you may have counted on to reflect yourself back to you. When that person is no longer there, the resulting energetic inward spiral can create a feeling of spiritual loss. That's when the Void rushes inward. This retraction within your own heart/soul center compounds, causing a continual inward spiral - limiting many spaces of comfort or security, creating that feeling of spiritual loss which some have called the ‘Dark Night of the Soul’. It has been expressed that this feels like a loss of our connection with Higher Self, closing off or shutting down many of those areas which previous experience and learning had opened or exposed to our own God-Self.
• Spiritual Madness (Nancy's story)
So how, within the context of the ‘Dark Night of the Soul’, do we come to terms with that experience and allow it to become the profound creation, which enhances and enlarges the smaller inner circles of our heart/soul center?
Nancy tells about her own experience with Spiritual Madness:
‘In my loss and confusion, I traveled into the depths of what seemed an abyss… no way out. Everywhere I looked was dark, depressing and the heaviness and sadness that enveloped my being made me cry out into that darkness. There appeared no way out. I began questioning myself and my very connection to God. Where did the confusion and questioning take me? Only further into my madness. I was alone. The loneliness of my space was suffocating. When in the past I craved the space to be by myself, this surely offered me no comfort for it only reminded me of the loss I felt. Was I to begin searching for something or someone? How was that to appear? Would I even know 'it' when ‘it’ manifested? These were only a few of the questions I asked of myself.
I began traveling further into the darkness. Within that interior space, I was sure no one could find me, hurt me, leave me, abandon me or reject me.. I remained for what seemed like an eternity, certain that this was my future. I traveled deep into the corner so I could have a clear view of what would come next. I knew that the madness must be overcome or it would surely kill me.
It was then that I realized I must embrace my fear of being alone. I then began to embrace my own spiritual madness. In the darkness, and in my alone space, only then did my mind begin to quiet itself. My heart could begin to calm itself. I found that the quiet and calm allowed a sense of peace to enter and I claimed it like a hungry beast. This I could own for myself! Within that moment of embrace, messages came: ‘allow – BE – allow - breathe - allow - feel – allow – Be - allow’.
Not easily at first, but with each word came recognition and then hope. Hope brought the realization that I had a choice. Choice armed me with self-confidence and courage. That encouragement gave me a place to create a vision for myself, to see beyond the darkness, to move back towards my Light, my Power and re-join my God-Self. It was not until I embraced the dark side of my soul that I could recognize and truly choose the greater outward spiral of Light. I was still uncertain of the outcome of my future vision. I realized that the madness was within myself. I had created the darkness so I could willingly and energetically choose to move beyond the emotion of losing, of living in the past. That experience was not unlike a death experience – for it truly allowed me to bury the past and move back to myself. “
Think of the dark part that we have not yet explored, examined or experienced as the Void that mirrors back to us everyone and everything we judge or do not love. The more judgment we have, the more we are upset or angry, the easier it is for us to spiral into this Void and be lost in that energy. The Void will act as a reflection of whatever we feel, magnified 100 or 1000 times each emotion. We will not get out of that vibration, or energetic Void until we have love and compassion for all creation.
That is why I feel Love is a key to making your connection to your own Higher Self. That’s the reason in previous newsletters, I have expressed that love is the most challenging word and feeling. Basically, we do not know how to love more than we have been loved in the past. That, coupled with the factor of ‘What you trust is not what you like, it’s what you have survived’, makes us constantly compare everything and everyone to some thing or some emotion that does not instinctively feel right within our own heart. It is not until we stop using or requiring other people to define us, that we will ever move out of these old paradigms. The more I love myself, the bigger the eternal circles become a full reflection of my soul.
What happens with a soul mate that is so beautiful and unique, occurs when both of you match what you love internally and outwardly. That experience can support you physically in a way that removes those previous fears of getting lost; so you can, together, explore the unknown.
When your inner circles begin to occupy more than two-thirds (2/3) of your heart/soul center, at that point in time, you can never again go backwards or settle for anyone or anything that would reflect less than your own connection to your Higher Self. The more you become a reflection of your Soul and God-Self, the less you can exist in the past. It would no longer require a ‘soul-mate’ to reflect you back to yourself.
I believe many of us are looking for extended family, or communities that might reflect ourselves back in a way than feels safer; different, better or somehow easier than the reflection we might receive from a lover, partner, ‘soul-mate’, or an old idea of what our 'soul-mate' had to be. I do not believe that we only have one ‘soul-mate’. I believe we are all soul-mates of each other. The person who can be fully open, allowing their soul and heart to become One, makes it easier for others that are on their path to see and feel that mirror reflection of their own God-Self.
We are at War - a word that encompasses all the ugly words of History. The consciousness of mankind is wounded and I truly hope that someday these deep wounds that have existed for thousands of years can heal themselves. The only way I see the energy of war lifting is to heal my own wounds and have true compassion for the feelings of all mankind. Every day I call into myself the consciousness of war and all collective consciousness in order to allow any old creations to change form - that is the job I have accepted. Aren't you glad that we all have our own jobs? I have been trained all my life for this spiritual work. What is your job? Your spiritual work can have many descriptions - loving your children, driving carpool, being kind or helping another person, … Many of you will be called into spiritual action. Love yourself unconditionally and have unconditional compassion for others. Do what you do best in your heart of hearts to allow the energy of the past to transform itself into something new. Keep any projections and ideas you may have away from the outcome. Remember, everything goes into chaos before it takes a new form. Your internal love is the catalyst for this new space - step into the BEing you really are.
• Techniques for getting out of the Dark Night of the Soul
There are several techniques that can help you, if you find yourself spinning out of control, desperately grasping onto anything or anyone who could physically save you from your own creation:
Your main focus at this time should include finding things that are
consistent in your life. Create a space or room within which you feel
you can call your own. Interact with your animals and the way they unconditionally
love you. Other ways might be going outside and feeling your connection
with nature, being physically active, and doing anything that you love
and do really well such as art, music, crafts, dancing, or gardening.
Strive to accomplish this focus and these actions as often as you can
and allow the resulting feelings to stay with you throughout your day.
Do the best you can to take any sense of urgency or desperateness out
of your moments by doing what makes you happy or feels good (not emotional
eating or any kind of addictive behavior). Don’t look to another
person to save you or to fix ‘it’ for you. Look for a friend
or family member that just likes you for who you are - no judgment. Just
know that this experience may in fact be the last part of your unknown.
If you need more specific tools, read the first section of : 'The
Heart of Soul Healing'
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